How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Problems and solutions for vegan relationships.
Sarahcakes101
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Sarahcakes101 » Apr 1, 2011 5:49 pm

I can say from my own experience here that I believe it would be so much easier if you could find a partner who has the same beliefs and diet as yourself. I say this because I have recently become a Dietary Vegan about 7 months ago. I never thought about /knew all the dangers of eating meat and dairy. I never really was a big milk drinker but I did like cheese. With this new information, it makes it impossible for me to want to ever return to eating meat or dairy. I do not look at meat eaters as bad people or anything like that. I ate meat and dairy for most of my life. I know that I no longer have certain issues since I gave these foods up. My husband is an Omnivore. It has been very difficult. I say this because we have 2 children and we have different beliefs about what they should or should not be eating. My 3 1/2 year old eats meat but I have been buying organic meat. Yes I know it is still not good but it is the compromise I have made. I buy Organic milk also. However she usually chooses to drink Enriched Rice Milk with her cereal which upsets my hubby. My 14 month old is still breastfed and eats no meat. She eats vegetables and fruit. Once she weans herself she will be given Enriched Rice Milk or Enriched Almond Milk depending on her age. So yes I cook two meals most nights. I would not feel right about not cooking meat for my hubby since I always have. The difficulties go beyond our house. When we recently visited my inlaws, they threw a frozen veggie burger at me which they overcooked (YUCK), a salad, and vegetable with nothing on it saying, "I do not know what you eat." They never thought to ask me what they could buy/make for me. Yet when they make the 2 1/2 hour drive to my house I make sure my MIL who is a vegetarian has enough options so she is full and that my FIL who has Diabetes has appropriate food for himself even down to when we eat for his levels. We are to go there for Saturday before Easter and I already informed my hubby that they will not be throwing a veggie burger at me. My FIL said he would have me order from a Vegan restaurant and he would get it. I really do not want him to do this every time. I may just give him food he can make for me when I see him next Wednesday. My hubby basically told me that any time we go anywhere it will be a pain because of my food choices! It is difficult to have mutual respect about food choices. He does not agree with nor does he understand. So again I would encourage anyone to try to find someone who has the same ideas about food as yourself and save yourself some hurt, aggravation, and disappointment.

Dacite
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Dacite » Apr 8, 2011 12:57 pm

Yes, the vegan has a first hand. I would accommodate vegan as priority :)

In fact, that is what my friends, workmates do - adapt to my plant based food choice. First they say they would not do it and I never expect somebody to please my diet choices. But then they get interested, start having fun and soon after- we have mainly veg dishes.

Just go with a smile, acceptance, optimism, mindfulness and humor in the world and people would be attracted to your lifestyle without any effort from your side.

TeaTea
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby TeaTea » Jul 4, 2011 12:57 pm

I am in big trouble, since I became Vegan I tried to tell everything I know to my boyfriend and I showed him how I eat.
He is still living with his family and his excuse why he is not Vegan(or at least Vegetarian), is that he would get problems at home. but I ask myself how can you say on one hand you love animals and on the other you are not brave enough to fight for it? In my eyes it seems he never understands why I live a Vegan life, and I feel not loved when he is not Vegan, it is horrible when I hear he eats an omlette or anything what was an animal... for me it is hurting, I wish so much that he could live as a Vegan, because I love him :/

fantasi2424
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby fantasi2424 » Jul 21, 2011 3:53 pm

can you really hold these relationships? because personally i can't. i couldn't have a relationship with a nazi, a slaughter, a killer or an alchoholic so why to have with a meateater? 1. he wouldn't be able to understand my feelings towards animals
2. he wouldn't be able to understand my point of you for the whole world.
3. he wouldn't be able to understand my dreams and to help me make them true (say, stop farming, make a shelter for strays animals)
4. it would be disgusting to see everyday dead bodies on the table.. eventually i would die from starvation..
5, i wouldn't be able to share anything with him.
i would never be in a relationship with a meateater, (and i'm glad i'm into one with a vegan), i don't know if love for the other person can overcome this burden of meat... and if the love of the one is so big and can overcome meateating habbit.. what about the love of the meateater? shouldn't he compromise or at least try to see the world from a differet prespective with respect and kidness? love can change us, so why not to change for the better?
A Relationship between a meateater and a vegan is like a relationship between a nazis and an activist of human rights!
it could work only if one of them is willing to change or if one of them wasn't passionate about his/her choice.

Dacite
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Dacite » Jul 25, 2011 12:46 pm

The only problem is that for the most vegans being one is not about habits but moral values. That is something much more important.

akmoonda
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby akmoonda » Jul 25, 2011 8:22 pm

I find myself questioning the same thing. I went vegetarian a few weeks ago and then went totally vegan a week ago. I feel that it is the best thing I could have done for myself. I don't feel guilty about the food I'm eating anymore. I showed my husband some videos on PETA's website. While he was disgusted with the way animals are treated, he still hasn't given up meat. I am okay with this as it was my decision to make and I wouldn't have taken too kindly to someone trying to sway me to their beliefs. My concern is our son. He is 10 months old and I am battling what I am going to do once he is old enough to eat meat, dairy, etc. I feel that it should be his decision to make when he gets older but I just don't know that I can bring myself to buy these things at the store since I have become so against them.

Dacite
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Dacite » Aug 19, 2011 5:02 pm

You can bring up a veg child healthy and beautiful. Once he is old to decide, he will.

allaboutpaige
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby allaboutpaige » Sep 4, 2011 5:07 am

I've found that talking to my boyfriend about my choice to be a vegan helps. He gets frustrated with me and visa versa, but as a general rule he respects my choice and always keeps his home stocked with things that I eat, and unless we go out to eat he doesn't eat meat around me. I can see where it would be easier to be in a relationship with a vegan, but I don't beleive that our challenges are insurmountable, though we don't have children and I can see how we raise our children to be a major point of contention.

Kensho
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby Kensho » Oct 2, 2011 6:59 pm

my partner isn't vegan... she is totally carnivorous although she enjoys mixed salads during evening meals... we are getting along just fine so far... we respect each others personal philosophies...

Kensho :flower:

anishastrologer
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby anishastrologer » Oct 10, 2011 4:42 am

Clenbut wrote:It is all about a mutual understanding, if a person is in true love, then he/she can change habit of being a vegetarian or non-vegetarian, or both can just retain there habit, and don't argue on being a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian.Love is all about sacrifice so some times you have to sacrifice all your habits.

Clenbuterol

really, it is all about mutual understanding, because a true and honest relationship doesn't get spoiled because of eating preferences. you don't need to change yourself and neither force your significant other. if they are truly committed they will begin to understand you and may be turn a vegan someday.

PixieKat
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby PixieKat » Nov 5, 2011 1:47 am

My fiance and I were both ovo-lacto-vegetarians for awhile, and he actually convinced me to go vegan along with him. Less hassle for me since I do most of the cooking anyway. :lol:

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aromatic
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby aromatic » Nov 13, 2011 4:28 pm

I've been single for the past 10 years and have had a couple of serious boyfriends. Both were meat eaters and seemed to be annoyed by my food choices. I have found that a lot of people seem to be uncomfortable with vegetarians/vegans. Does anyone know of any online dating forums for vegetarians/vegans? I have been using a popular online dating service for a few years now and have only come across two in that time. The longer I go without meat, the less I think I want it in my house!

mjerry
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby mjerry » Dec 14, 2011 4:38 am

Well in relationships, there always are sacrifices and it will all lead to who is willing to take the leap, usually the one who things he has a lot more to lose than the other.

I have a friend who was in a similar position some time ago and it was really hard for her. She did not know if she would just force it down her stomach to get non vegan stuff. But if that will be the case, I am pretty sure that it will end badly.

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vpdevice
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Re: How you handle relationships where only one is vegan?

Postby vpdevice » Mar 15, 2017 11:54 pm

:love6:


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