Vegan Forum

Something occured to me the other day, and it's a question I simply can't solve. I'm young, so I won't have to actually come across this problem for quite a while, but I'm curious about it anyway.

What's a person to do if they're veg*n and they've married an omni and they're looking to have children... to raise veg*n or not to raise veg*n?

I'm not going to choose a partner based on whether or not they eat meat, because finding a good person is hard enough as it is... if I eliminate a large majority of the population, I may just be screwing myself over.

Whenever a veg*n marries an omni this question is bound to pop up... and there are so many factors to think about that depend on the individuals involved.

Naturally, I'd want any children I have in the future to share my core values (not eating meat is one of them) but do I have the right to impose that on them? And even if I did, wouldn't they wonder "Why can't I eat what Daddy eats?" or "Is Daddy *bad* for eating the poor cows?"

And what to do if little Johnny is at Billy's birthday party and everybody else is eating hot dogs... and little Johnny can't eat the hot dogs. And other parents may not be as understanding as one would hope.

Or what to do if they *weren't* raised veggie, and wonder why mommy won't eat what everybody else eats. That's a hard question to answer without making the kid feel bad... at a certain age they'd understand, but I'd imagine the question might come up sooner than that.

Any thoughts? Anybody here who's solved the problem? I'm stuck.

Well you can always say: "If you love me stop eating meat". Of course you will have to give up something too ))

Acctualy that's a very interesting topic.

This might sound like a childing jump on you but,
most people grow up and starting to eat meat.
This might be because for some part of the veg*, its just a fashion thing.
Besides its more healthy to give a baby healthy food and that is normal mixed food and no vegan food.

Bybo wrote:Besides its more healthy to give a baby healthy food and that is normal mixed food and no vegan food.

And how would you know this? I mean that mixed food is more healthy?

My wife used to be vegetarian because of me... hm..
I never asked her or anything she just stopped eating meat, at least in front of me.
Well It's not a good thing in the end...

I believe that in choosing a partner diet is a very important issue as it may cause conflict down the line. That is not to say that an omni and a veggie will have a less than successful relationship. In most cases if a vegetarian lifestyle is presented right the new practice may be adopted by the meat eater, gradually of course. As far as kids are concerned starting them off as vegetarians gives them the option to eat meat later if they choose. My daughter didn't eat meat the first three years of her life and stayed in good health.

Preach, she decided to eat meat afterwards?

Peace AndyBa. My daughter lives with her mother. Because I'm not constantly around to give her an alternative she did as the romans did, in this case eat meat. Sometimes my daughter and I have conversations about my decision to not eat meat. Her rationale is that it tastes good and so I should indulge.

I'm vegan & my fiance is omni. When we met i was omni, but turned veggie @ 18, overnight (after being shown a factory farming video in my animal welfare lecture). I was veggie for just under 5 years, when i started researching the dairy & egg industry - i was horrified with what i found! It actually put me off the things i used to love i.e cheese .. i couldn't stomach eating it!

Amongst the other reasons for turning vegan, i discovered some research that claims that a non-dairy diet is beneficial for sufferers of inflammatory diseases (which is what i have). I had a long talk with my partner, he had chance to voice his concerns - or ask questions, which i was pleased to answer! And after a little thought.. he came back to me & said that he thought it would be good for me.

I totally understood and understand today that Matt will never be vegan - but that's his choice! I met him when we were both omni's, becoming vegan was a natural progression for me (but it's not for everyone - sad, but true!) <<== don't get me wrong - i'd love everyone to be veggie/vegan.. but i can't change the world!

We will be having children together (though not for a while yet!). And the topic of diet has come up once or twice & it is a little difficult - but we've agreed to cross that bridge when we come to it!

Sorry, i seem to have gone off on a tangent with this post!

Take care & stay well!

xDDx

Peace Dolly Dimples. It is wonderful to hear that you and your partner support each others decisions. It is also a good thing that discussion has started concerning your future children's diet. Who knows Matt may suprise you!

Dolly, I read your post and it seems that if you would have to choose a dating partner now, it would not be an omni..
Am I right?

Dodic wrote:Dolly, I read your post and it seems that if you would have to choose a dating partner now, it would not be an omni..
Am I right?

That is a tough one dodic!

I would definately be guided by my heart, i know that much for sure! I suppose that it would depend how i intended on meeting a new guy - you don't stumble upon many male vegetarians let alone vegans... where i hail from - which would prove difficult!

xDDx

you don't stumble upon many male vegetarians let alone vegans... where i hail from - which would prove difficult!

And the only solution I see is to promote vegan lifestyle as much as we can. Especially among hot babes

Backwood wrote:And the only solution I see is to promote vegan lifestyle as much as we can. Especially among hot babes

Well, if all of the vegans are female, what am I supposed to do ? I think that us veggies are lacking more in males than we are females, which is a major inconvenience for us ladies .

I think that us veggies are lacking more in males than we are females

This is true, but I know quite a few men who are kind of open to being vegetarian, or ex-vegetarian, but eat meat because their girlfriends/wives/mates insist on it. My old boss used to be veggie at work, but had to eat meat at home because his wife had him pussy-whipped!

My parents were in an omni/vegetarian relationship for nearly twenty years! My Mother insisted that I ate meat and dairy, and my Dad never really talked about being vegetarian much: with hindsight I wish he had, because I would have probably become vegetarian much sooner if I'd realised about meat! It must have been hard for him, watching me shovel down burgers and beef pies through the BSE crisis (NB at the time, politicians were telling us that beef was safe, and raising vegetarian children was practically unheard of - vegetarianism was discouraged in teenagers because it was thought that it might affect their development). Our family were very unhealthy, because cooking different dishes was such a chore that we ended up eating processed convenience foods a lot.

My boyfriend has started talking about becoming vegan. I've never asked him to - I think he just wants to eat a little healthier and it would be nice to share meals more. He also used to be vegetarian / into animal rights when he was younger, so maybe he's kind of remembering it! I guess what I'm trying to say is that vegan/omni relationships can be tough, and someone's going to break sooner or later

With regard to children [biological clock is ticking...] they are going to be exposed to meat and dairy at school or when they go to friends' houses, and you can't realistically stop that happening. I would probably give them vegan food at home - I certainly intend cooking and not feeding them processed junk - but I guess my philosophy would be to let them choose what they eat outside the home? I would have to explain where meat came from in an objective manner, to avoid them thinking people are 'good' or 'bad.' Otherwise they might rebel

Besides its more healthy to give a baby healthy food and that is normal mixed food and no vegan food.

Well, my understanding is that a baby should be breastfed - both soy and cow's milk have been linked to health problems with babies, and it is psycologically better for them to have human milk at any rate. Baby foods for older babies seem to be largely vegan - processed veggie stew, farley's rusks, etc. - and I've heard that there is a high rate of lactose intolerance amoung teething children anyway?

I would be interested to read some impartial research - all the literature my doctor stocks is very pro- meat and dairy, but I suspect this is part of a government initiative to promote these industries (UK dairy industry is apparently in real trouble at the moment), or a hangover from wartime rationing? You can actually get free milk when you're pregnant!

Anybody had experience of a vegan pregnancy?

Shortly after we met, unbeknownst to each other, my wife and I both decided to become vegetarians.

I actually became Vegan, because I thought that's what vegetarians were.

When we moved in together, my wife became Vegan because it was more conveinent for the both of us (and cost efficient).

I would never, if I had to in the future (god forbid), seek out a relationship with a Non-Vegan.

BigBecka wrote:My old boss used to be veggie at work, but had to eat meat at home because his wife had him pussy-whipped!

What a loser!

What a loser!

Yes, I had NO respect for him! His wife used to ring him in the middle of important meetings to yell at him, or make him run errands for her

Actually, I shan't go into how he used to piss me off he had real issues with women...

Just Dont do it...

If me and my wife decided to have kids, I think it would be vegan purely because I would be the main carer for our baby and cooking all it's meals. Easy.

Actually, it's not easy at all is it? What about school dinners, parties and all the other things kids do.

I need to think about this one some more. Especially as I would love to have a child some time soon.

I'm a long time vegetarian turned vegan, married to an omni, and we have 2 children.

Our home is shared, so there are no rules about no meat in the house or anything like that (although, there are some rules about where it can be cooked...and in/on what....). But we're serving a variety of diets here.

As for your partner being vegan - I think you're right, you don't want to bypass the love of your life because they happen to eat meat. Altho....I must admit, it would be really really really nice to share that value. Really. Or at least a partner who could embrace your choices and participate/support and maybe even enjoy it! That's important.

While my husband tries to make sure I'm accommodated (ie, if we're going out he'll consider whether or not there will be anything there for me to eat), he doesn't participate in it, willingly, and that part irks me. Similarly, my brother is trying to eat vegan 2 meals a day, and I see his wife putting up hurdles every step of the way...and I don't get it. I can't imagine not wanting to support such a healthy decision.

As for children - that's really tough, it's not an easy answer for sure. I think for the first 5 or 6 years of life, for many kids its a big challenge just to make sure they're eating nutritious food and enough of it. My kids do eat meat....but they often eat vegan because guess who does most of the cooking. I've tried to focus more on food being healthy, not packaged, organic etc. My daughter is nearly 7 and asks a lot of questions, I really think she'll come to a veg*n decision before long.

I have a little one, and although me and my lady are both vegan, we let our child eat whatever he wants. If he requests meat or dairy, we go out of our way to buy it for him so he can eat it. He's only four, but we do explain why we don't eat animal products, so he has some grounding in why we eat what we eat.

Since he is growing up in a vegan family, though, mots of the time he eats what we eat. I'd say 95% of his meals are vegan, as a result. He's perfectly healthy and is all around rad.

Our idea on this is that he should have some control over his diet. There's no better way to make a child resentful of your diet than by forcing it on them from an early age. Better to let them wander, make mistakes and create successes, than cramming ideas down his throat. That's a recipe to create a Wall Street Investor out of him!

This is a hard issue.
It is very important to share the way of eating if it is something more than diet or health choice. For the most vegans being vegan is a philosophical question, issue of values, kindness, compassion, true seeing and respect for other sentient beings.
That is something almost impossible to compromise.
However we must always give a person a chance to learn about our choices.

If it has got to the point where you have had kids then I guess your co-existence has been established to some point in terms of food consumption in the relationship.
I personally as a rule for "in the house" is that no animal food would be allowed. Out of the house - freedom is theirs

Interesting topic.

we vegans agree that "meat" is a form of extreme animal cruelty. Right ?

So we might substitue "eating meat" in which the animal cruelty is "hidden", to a more visible for of animal cruelty like, let's say, a partner who hates animals and kicks dogs and cats, and places gluetraps for the mice. Would any vegan seriously consider such a person to be a life partner and raise kids ? Would anyone seriously delute himself and say "it is her choiche, it is not up to me to force my lifestyle upon her".

I have found it's best to be very very honest to myself (i REALLY want to live with somebody who eats meat and from her side "tolerates" my vegan lifestyle ??) and to a possible partner about this issue. It worked and no confusion.